Her Independence Day
by Mademoiselle Anime Amour
Summary: Breathe in, breathe out...He is her drug, her obsession, her love. And she knows that there can never be anything more than lusting kisses and lingering touches. She has to walk away. From all of it.


**A/N: Hi, guys. Well, after my last Axel/Kairi fic, I was dissatisfied with my previous attempts at making fics with this pairing. So, I decided to try again. And I think I got it this time. XD The title is partially inspired by "Independence Day" by Martina McBride, but this isn't a songifc. And I only say partially because there are no undertones of abuse in this story. Only unhealthy components of a not-so-great romantic dynamic.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own KH.**

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><p><strong><span>Her Independence Day<span>**

She paces back and forth in the bedroom, wondering how to break the news. It isn't as though this has been the easiest decision in the world, considering the guy has given her all that he can. And yet, oddly enough, it still does not measure up in the grand scheme of things. Adjusting her green mini-skirt while looking more dressed to kill than he could ever dream, she is well aware that this is now or never. A once in a lifetime opportunity to just walk away from this...whatever this is. It hasn't exactly been a relationship, but it certainly hasn't been a male/female friendship dynamic either.

God, this is getting _way _too complicated, she thinks as she chews her gum more slowly, contemplatively.

Then...

"I'm done."

Her boyfriend yet not boyfriend Axel's eyes widen more drastically than she predicted they would have. He isn't one to show perplexity around her, more of a cool, calm, and collected persona that emits charisma. That was what initially attracted her to him in the first place.

He asks stupidly yet smartly, "Kairi...Done with what?"

A slightly disheartened tinge is in his voice, though it is something he would shudder to show as well. He doesn't _do _sad. That's what he told her once. Depression could only suck the life out of you, and coming from someone as filled with life as he is, he isn't one to partake. She can't blame him for that, because nobody wants to wallow in misery and self-pity. It is no picnic, no life worthy of living. Ruefully, she smiles, though he doesn't see as she looks out the window onto the average, normal suburban street below. She has witnessed him burst—not walk into, not step, and definitely not tiptoe—into a room with as much energy as what must be in that ridiculously spiky red hair of his. Then again, Axel's reputation does consist of him being a ridiculous man.

There's a car slowly moving down the street (Elm Street, as a matter of fact), a boxy, old cream colored Cadillac. Birds chirp optimistically while perching on nearby trees. Two little kids across the street enthusiastically jump up and down on the trampoline sitting in the backyard. Life goes on, even as hers is coming to a gradual standstill. To this moment, when she has to make her firm reply (for, if it isn't firm, he surely won't be convinced) to his question for clarification. Kairi has remained cryptic for a reason.

Finally, she answers softly with, "I'm done with this relationship. It just feels like we've been living one big lie."

Yes, that has been pressing on her mind fairly recently to the point that she has occupied herself with too much schoolwork. Work has always been the answer to all her problems. But, this one...This one is the worst one of all, and she isn't sure if stupid high school has alleviated that issue. In all honesty, Kairi believes that what she has told him is right, the best words to say in this situation, as this relationship has been one of those little white lies. One of those lies isn't supposed to hurt, but then she realizes, hey, it ain't the truth, is it? If it opposes the truth, then it can not be totally innocuous. What is between them has taken some damage because of it.

It started with her meeting him at the video store, with him wanting to rent this gory, direct-to-DVD horror movie that not one single movie critic commented upon. Kairi had walked up to Axel, they exchanged hellos, and spent exactly five minutes getting information on each other before disappearing over in the bathroom to make out. An explosive chemistry had formed between the two, enough to send heads spinning and tongues lolling. He taught her a new way to kiss that day, come to think of it. In that respect, Axel has been quite a skilled teacher. With everything else, however, he is virtually clueless. Oh, he pretends to be the jaded cynic who knows the ways of the world and how human nature works. That's just what he wants her to think. Why else has it been a "shut up and make out with me right now" policy?

No words have ever been needed between them, not too many anyway. Axel despises thinking, hates looking into things too deep. Kairi concludes that his theory comprises of talking wastes time. It wastes life. There is so much of it to waste and yet so little. He prefers to hardly take this life for granted. Problem with that is, as romantic as that might be, it isn't rational or realistic. Kairi refuses to be with someone like that, no matter how much it hurts him...or her. Even though here they are, in his bedroom (ready to do the deed in other words), and she plans on walking away from it all. She can feel his viridian eyes boring into her, assessing her lustfully.

Too bad for him, she isn't in it for the sex. Unbeknownst to her, he isn't in it for the sex either, more of an unbridled escape.

Silence pervades this bedroom for a while longer as neither one of them say a word, for they both fear words. Words ruin everything, involving such a waste of breath, especially since Axel worries that they will destroy his life in this scenario.

He murmurs after she turns around, "A lie? Sure, if you want to be that brutal about it. I saw it as fun, kind of. Remember that one time when we went to that carnival and got on the Ferris whe—"

She lengthily sighs, not even beginning to want to put up with this BS. "That's kid stuff, Axel. Can't you grow up?"

Grow up...Those words sting him beyond recognition, and he turns onto his back on his sunken in bed. The mattress is getting worn out and will probably need to be thrown out soon. He doesn't care, ignoring the way Kairi nervously plays with one strand of her auburn hair. She wonders what the heck she just said and why it sounds so callous.

"Grow up?" he snarls incredulously. "Who made you the older one in the relationship, kiddo? God, whatever...can't believe you're dumping me."

Damn elephant in the room, and he, out of all people, acknowledges it. Kairi gets thrown for a loop as soon as he says the word "dumping" in a subtly injured inflection to his voice. Aghast, she recognizes that he has jumped to the right (wrong, though, it has to be wrong, right?) conclusion minutes ahead of what she has initially predicted. Now, her excuse sounds lame. As she very well knows, maturity has never been the main problem in the relationship. The problem was, in reality, the fact that they happened to be two lonely people...lonely for love at any rate. Kairi assures herself that Axel was lucky he caught her in a pissy mood that day—funny thing was, after that first make-out, she suddenly became exhilarated. Turning back to the window again, she leans her forehead against the cool glass of the pane. Ugh...He had become a high for her. Almost daily, she had purposely sought him out just to receive his warm touch, his meaningful glances, and his intoxicating taste that could be dangerously comparable to alcohol.

They've never really thought of consequences or settling down or even living in the same house together. Technically, they live in euphoria for two hours at a time, and then she walks back home as he rushes over to his job and pushes the limit punctuality-wise. It does no good that he has no idea what her favorite color is, and she would fail at a question as to what his favorite band is. What the hell are they doing here in this bedroom anyway? The words have been said, the sex has been cancelled indefinitely, and they have realized they both made the biggest mistake of their lives.

Being together...actually, no. It is the resolution to break up, delete cellphone numbers, and pretend they have never even set eyes on each other.

"Damn it, fine, get out of my house," Axel growls, shifting onto his bed with his face in his pillow.

Kairi barely hears his muffled words no thanks to that pillow, but she gets the message loud and clear.

"K."

One monosyllable, and it's goodbye, bon voyage, and avoir to that burning bridge.

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><p>It should be easy, Kairi thinks the next day as she randomly returns to the video store aka the scene of the crime. They both agreed in a strangely telekinetic, silent sort of way that no attachment would develop between them. It would be a getaway, what they would call the bond between them, and a detour to breezily slide past the darker parts of life. It would be fun, simply fun and no seriousness involved. Dates? Who needed them when you got hot and heavy make-out sessions? School dances? As if, who needed to conform among all the other happy couples holding hands and singing their "special" songs together? Totally vomit-worthy, right? Commitment...nah. Kairi has seen Axel caress other girls, and she has laughed at that one time when he punched a guy she kissed in the face. The poor idiot ended up in the hospital for all his trouble with a black eye and a split lip. As for Axel, the cops temporarily hauled him off to jail for publicly fighting and therefore disturbing the peace. Kairi relied on her connections (her rich friends) to bail him out.<p>

All in all, they have been a regularly classic Sid and Nancy case, only without the drugs and without the disturbing obsession with each other. So, perhaps they couldn't be compared to punk rock romance. But, they weren't exactly an idyllic, clean-cut couple, were they? No, if anything, they agreed (metaphorically shook hands, really) that love...Hmph, that pathetic emotion didn't exist.

In a miserable conclusion, Kairi admits to herself as she casually glances over the new releases, that skinny, all-talk-but-not-that-tough moron had broken that rule. He must have fallen in love with her, or else he wouldn't be that hurt over the break-up. And yet, God, it has been _so easy_. When she came home and switched on the TV in her room yesterday, she hadn't cried once. Not even a stinging of the eye or a loud sniff had perturbed her. She was impassive, unaffected, and completely and utterly careless.

Idiot, she calls him out in her mind, what a moron and a hypocrite he turned out to be. Some fun...Where was the fun in a not-relationship when he had to take it so personally? What next? He would probably start reading poetry, watch all the romance flicks, and keep a pint of mint chocolate-chip ice cream on hand. Picking out a comedy DVD (cuz, _man_ does she need one), Kairi snorts with laughter from that joke she has just made. How hilarious would it be if Axel would dissolve into a total sap just because she summoned up enough nerve to dump him? He would burst out laughing too, with that sarcastic yet enduringly sweet chuckling...

Damn. No, she wills herself, do not think of his laughter. It sickens her that she would turn into a sap, too. Is she the hypocrite now?

All the memories of the good times, of happier times now gone by, resurface in her mind. She remembers the first time she saw him in this video store, him trudging in to get that crappy horror movie. When he approached that section where she stood, she got caught in the depth and light of his exotic green eyes. To this day, she struggles to think of another person who ever had eyes that brightly colored. He had stared into her eyes too, and she wonders now if he thought them pretty as well. That was how that fatefully first make-out session came about, just the two of them maintaining a heated gaze. Passion burned in those grass green (or were they teal or emerald?) eyes when he pressed his lips hard against hers, demanding yet pleading.

Kairi shudders, reluctantly replacing the comedy DVD back on its shelf. Why did Axel have to be such a temptingly good kisser to the point she still looks back on them fondly? They had varied, after all. They weren't always crushing but sometimes sweet and gentle.

Perhaps she is more in the mood for a weepy romantic drama that would involve her eating the pints of ice cream, not him. Did guys even take break-ups that hard? Probably not, she answers herself, because Axel is probably off painting the town red with some dumb blonde by now. It wouldn't surprise her to know that she has been replaced already. Cursing under her breath, Kairi leaves the new releases section all together, unsure of what she plans to rent instead. If she ends up choosing _The Notebook_, she swears...

He enters the scene of the crime, his eyes searching for something as the _ding _of the bell (or is it a real bell?) announces his arrival. Distracted, Kairi glances toward the source of that little noise...

...And her heart stops dead in her chest.

Or not quite, since she would literally be dead if that's the case. Nonetheless, shock overwhelms her to the point that she doesn't move, only standing there and looking helplessly at her former boyfriend/not-boyfriend.

What would he do? Would he be friendly by saying hi, pretending that what they shared never happened? Or would he revert back to his snide nature by telling cruel jokes directed specifically at her? All she knows is that she finds herself immobilized by her apprehension mingled with something akin to fear. Her palms start to sweat, and she hurriedly wipes them on her jeans. As soon as he glimpses her as he walks down the middle of the room, he comes to a standstill. He blinks once, twice, and then attempts to slowly proceed toward the freebie section of DVDs. His objective is likely to rent another the worst, goriest, and cheapest horror movie he can find.

To Kairi's horror (and yet relief that she can be this bold), she nears him within two strides and touches his arm. Bewildered, he stares unsurely into her widened blue eyes, as blue as fleurs-de-lis.

"Uh...Hey, what's up?" Axel greets stupidly, completely at a loss for words.

"Nothing much," she replies, trying nonchalance.

They remain eerily quiet for two minutes, though to Kairi, it feels like two hours are agonizingly passing by. The pain of awkwardness begins to set in, and she is unsure of what to say. How do you pretend that everything is OK in paradise when it really isn't?

Axel inadvertently volunteers to close the distance between them by turning around fully to face her. After clearing his throat a couple times, he runs a hand through her dark red hair like he used to whenever they lounged on his beat-up couch together. Kairi freezes in place. Oh God...She must have already forgotten how good he smelled, a bit of Old Spice with some motor oil and, oddly enough, pancakes.

She asks, "Did you have pancakes for lunch again?"

He smiles, not smirks but smiles, a slow, gradual upturn of his lips. "I guess you know me better than I thought."

One more time, Kairi assures herself, one more time and that's it. They're done forever. But, one more minute...or ten in heaven would mean everything to her. She doubts it will mean much to him, for he can pick up another girl at a K-Mart or a Burger King or wherever. So, both of them step in time with each other as they make their way over to the unisex bathroom.

Axel wastes no time as he presses her against one of the stalls, his lips kissing her face wherever they can get to. Responding instantly, she sighs then moans once his tongue slides into her mouth. A lusty dance takes place between their tongues, a mildly sexy tango of sorts. His hands roam her back before coming up again toward her shoulders, where they are affectionately squeezed. And she runs her hands through his crazy, wild, and simply _beautiful _reddish-scarlet hair. How she has missed this, the taste of him and the feel of him.

It could have gone on forever until both of them died from lack of oxygen distributed to their lungs. God, they could have kissed each other to death. But, they don't and won't once they separate, panting as though they have risen up from the deepest ocean. They have broken the surface. However, that's not the only thing that's been permanently broken.

"Sorry, Axel. It's been one hell of a ride but...I really can't do this any more. This...this lust, uh, thing is not technically a relationship. It's only that, lust and nothing more. Besides, it wouldn't have worked out. Our fiery redhead tempers would have gotten the better of us"—here, she laughs humorlessly—"And, in a way, we brought out the worst in each other. I deserve better. I'm sorry."

Instead of him angrily storming out of the bathroom, Kairi is the one to walk away, more maturely and quietly. In passing, she is curious if she numbed him, because he isn't saying anything, not even a coinciding "yeah."

Hesitantly, anxiously, she glances back over her shoulder at him. Yep, Axel merely stands there, his arms crossed firmly on his chest. Despite this pose of intimidation and suppressed anger, the angular face reads something entirely different. He's hurt. He's irreversibly hurt, and he's showing it. Silently, he begs her to come back. Just as mutely, she shakes her head no.

And now, this is it. The bond or chain or whatever between them is sliced in two with neither of them being able to look back now. No matter how much her heart throbs with the anguish of a delightfully awful break-up, Kairi has set her resolution. Axel is poison for her, and the longer she would have been with him, the more she would have died inside.

Before, a time since gone by, she made fireworks with him with the indelibly fierce yet passionate kisses they exchanged. Today marks the end of that type and the beginning of a new burst of fireworks. These are of the Fourth of July variety, sparking proudly against the night sky. Red, white, and blue but other colors added in as well. Her independence day is here, and it's here to stay for a while...at least until she finds the right guy.

In the meantime, she will recover from Axel, her drug and, in a twisted sort of way, her first love. Hopefully, he will find his happiness, too.

She can only hope for that much.

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><p><strong><span>AN: I forgot to mention in this story that the age difference between Kairi and Axel is considerably narrower than last time. Ugh, last time...Not sure if the "Image" fic really did that pairing justice. Well, I tried to avoid cliches with this story and just have the girl walk away. After all, in my opinion, a relationship shouldn't be all lust. But, that's my viewpoint. I find I'm more pleased with this story, like I said before.**

**Hopefully, you guys liked this. **


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